Dave's Audio Adventure

Put yourself in my position for a moment. You've searched for, found and bought a house for your dream studio. It is QUIET! You've quit your cushy job as Chairman so you can be totally creative making some really high resolution recordings and music. Then you go and buy a hard disc drive to store that music on, because that is the totally cool hip modern way to do it. Then you get it home and turn it on.

Uh-oh.

L'il SOB whines! Loudly! Like, all you can hear is the L'il SOB whining its miserable little binary heart out! Jeezus H. Keeeeeerist!!!! Can't hear yourself think for the noise. No way you're gonna make any kind of music (well, thrash, maybe) while that thing is running. Time for the .357 Magnum and a high-impact statement! Except that you haven't got a .357 Magnum and you just paid $1100 bucks for this screeching little turkey and haven't even sent a single binary bit of data to it yet, so it seems a little counterproductive to yield to primal urges just yet.

Quick 'n dirty solution: stuff it back into the box they shipped it in, fold the covers down around the SCSI cables 'n power cord, and hope it doesn't crash from the heat. The foam packing absorbs some of the sound, and when you hide it under the desk (it won't reach the floor, due to the short length of the SCSI cables, so you prop it up on another cardboard box) the screech fades to a more tolerable distant grinding sound. Definitely audible. No more QUIET studio. Damn!!!! But nobody said this'd be easy. You can work this out. Avanti, as they say in South Bend!

Open the next neatso box. This one is a card rack to hold cards that won't fit in the computer because the computer manufacturer didn't want to be bothered with third-party cards. The rack is BIG, and coming out of the back of it is a little ribbon connector that is exactly 3" wide by 16" long that must connect just so to the back of the computer. No slack. No problem. Just set the behemoth on the desk (it takes up about a third of the work surface, but we're working toward a paperless office, right?), set the computer on it, hook up the ribbon connector (it just reaches), and turn it on.

Uh-oh.

Sumbich is loud! It actually roars. Three, count 'em, three unbaffled cooling fans suck air in through the front, so you're sitting here looking at and listening to a frigging mini-maelstrom that might be described as Madame Ice's Thermal Discipline. You can't believe you're hearing this. Grab the Sound Level Meter, measure it. 55 dBA where you sit! Unbelievable! Is this a joke or what? What? What?? What???? You Can't Hear Anything But The Goddamn Box!!!!!

As you can see, when you're working by yourself, out in the woods, things can get out of hand quickly. Computer noises that seem like minor irritations when you're at the United Counter at LAX or the Registry of Motor Vehicles Office in Boston become Major Affronts To The Sprit when you're nestled all by your lonely in The Bosom Of Mother Nature.